Life, why do you get in the way??

So, I failed epically with the goals I set out for myself two weeks ago!

I managed to maintain one week of clean eating, and attended one whole bootcamp class.  ONE WHOLE CLASS!!  Then I got pretty sick, leaving me missing work for nearly 3 days and using up these last 2 weeks to get better.

You can safely say that I'm disappointed with myself.  I don't know why I keep continuing on this cycle.  Do I set up goals which are too big?  Do I create the opportunity to fail?  Am I unrealistic?  Do I lack commitment to my goals? 

You could probably say yes to all of the above.

I think some times I am more comfortable struggling.  If I'm down already, there's not as far to fall later.  Crappy thought yes, but it's been a running theme in my life for a number of years.  I'd pull myself up out of various issues just to get dropped again.  And it never gets easier.

But enough of that.  I'm trying hard not to be so serious all the time.

Maybe if I post here more, with more of my successes and failures I could be more successful.  Who knows.  No one reads this blog besides my mom anyways ;)

Get on gettin' on.....

So I figured I'd take advantage of the few quiet minutes I have at home right now.  After having my niece and nephew for the night, and waiting on more kids to show up and stomp in the living room while Ukrainian music assaults my ears, I figured I'd try and get a blog post in.

If you can believe it, summer is just around the corner!!!  I'm really happy about this!  I can take Zeus out for more walks, go roller blading and biking, hiking and camping.  Summer also means summer clothes and bathing suits,  which I am less enthused about.

I have managed to maintain a 15 pound weight loss.  But I've been trending water for the last year or so, and I need to lose another 25 to 30 pounds.  It's time to get on getting on.

I've decided to do the Conscious Cleanse again.  I did this last year and felt and looked amazing!!  I'm very excited to be doing it again.  I have found, however, it is much harder to accomplish living with my boyfriend and his son.  They pose additional challenges (both refuse to eat the healthy foods I like to make), and additional responsibilities.  So I'm trying to navigate my way through this without throwing in the towel on my personal goals entirely.

I have attempted the 5 day transition into the cleanse, but I have faltered.  This morning was no exception where I ate something of everything I was supposed to be removing from my diet.  O well. I have meal planned for the week, and will do the majority of my food prep today.  This is what my week, meal wise looks like:

Breakfast:  banana, raspberry and spinach smoothie
Morning snack: chia pudding
Lunch:  red chard and white kidney bean soup with a side of baked tilapia
Afternoon snack:  an apple with some raw trail mix
Dinner:  baked chicken with super 7 salad and Italian dressing
Evening snack:  roasted curry chickpeas

Tomorrow, I also start morning boot camps!!!  I got a great deal on Groupon and I'm very excited (and nervous) to start.  Since I still can't run, I figured it would be a great way to get a morning workout in.

I'll also be focusing on spending much less time watching tv.  I recently purchased the new Miriam Toews book "All My Puny Sorrows" and that will be my May book to read.

So here's to the start of a great week, and I will endeavour to post more!!  Hopefully they will be happy posts, and not me sobbing over my iPad because I can't move any of my muscles without pain lol.

Ok..... So I guess it's been a couple of months....

And I do apologize.  See, I'm terrible at maintaining consistency in many aspects of my life.  The point of this blog was to create a living and public commitment to my personal growth.

And so I stumble as is my tendency to do.

Which is no matter, because I have forgiven myself.  The same way I forgive myself after I inhale an entire box of mini wheats in a single sitting after being on yet another diet for 5 days.

And I digress.

I didn't post this post because I necessarily wanted to apologize for my absence.  I apologized because apparently I have lost a couple of months and have left my one and only follower hanging (hi mom!!)

This post is to introduce the purpose of my blog.

So now sitting at my kitchen table with half a pot of coffee already drank, and two pieces of gluten free toast eaten (which wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be) I will explain my blog.

Having no particularly remarkable talents, no celebrity and no other necessarily distinguishable accolades to celebrate, I will do what many other bloggers do.  I will write about my ordinary life.

You are now excitedly sitting on the edge of your seat aren't you?

So let me give you my short biography up to this point.  I am 30 years old.  I got married at 24, separated at 25, and officially divorced by 28 - nearly going bankrupt in the process and losing almost everything (including my dog).  My bid to survive that process caused me to move a ridiculous amount of times just to ensure I could keep a roof over my head.  But I survived my the skin of my teeth, and with no shortage of support from my family,

Now at 30, having given up my 20's to learning about life the hard way, I find myself usually unburdened by severe financial constraints and life as a nomad.  I have a wonderful boyfriend who has a son, and two very smelly dogs.

But I feel so completely restless.  For ten years; a decade; one third of my life, I was defined by the turmoil and struggle which kept me trapped like quicksand.  And now I've pulled free and shaken the last few grains of sand from my shoulders.  Now what?

Well, now I'm blessed with the opportunity to redefine who I am as a person.  So, I suppose that is what this blog is about.  Rebuilding.

I have already started, but the horizon is still obscured by a heavy fog.  I'm not very sure where exactly I'm headed yet, but I'm ready.  The difference this time around is that I'm at the helm.  I will steer this thing in my chosen course, and happily enjoying the challenges along the way.

But don't worry.  This blog won't be filled with narcissistic ramblings if I can help it.

What I can't help now is that my home is a mess.  It needs some attention while the BF and his kid are at church.

Have a great day!!!  It's bloody cold out and I'm lucky to be inside and warm.  Stay warm too.

Fantastic Stuff Comin' Your Way in a Flash!!

Just as soon as I can keep a thought in my head lol.  Seriously, though, I think I'm (we??) are going to have a lot of fun here.  Just be patient with me, and I will get this blog hopping!!